Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just invented taco cereal.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
