Do you still have your period?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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