Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
