i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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