if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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