I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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