i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
