apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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