Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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