Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
