So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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