im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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