Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
