I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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