There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
