she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
