So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
