I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's shark week go big or go home
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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