Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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