I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
