Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
