things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i dont even know how to be here
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize