im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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