Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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