So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
