butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
