brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
