Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
