I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We don't watch enough power rangers
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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