East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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