Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
