Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
