toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the day after is always just damage control
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
