The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
