Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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