Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
