38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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