So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize