I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well I just put wine in my tea
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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