Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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