I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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