fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
