Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
