You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
