i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
