Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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