Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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