youre lurking in front of me
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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