We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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