There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm sobbing to NWA
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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