i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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