when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize