Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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