Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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