i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize