Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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