He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
