i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
