I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
