I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize