It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
