Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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