he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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